32 Weeks

Oh, hey there 32 weeks, you sure snuck up on me.

I'm currently awake at 3:09 am because I'm starving and because I have been bit with the pregnancy insomnia bug. I've made myself some toast and I thought, hey, I haven't written anything in a long time, why not add something now?

Being pregnant has been the most surreal thing I have experienced. It has gone by so quickly, but at the same time I feel like I can't remember what it is like to not be pregnant. The last few weeks it has become very real as I start to feel him move more and more and my belly gets bigger and bigger. The other day I had an epiphany that my whole life is about to change and speed up. Every single parent I have ever talked to always says that it goes so fast. Once you have a newborn, they are a year old already and you just blinked.

As I think about this sudden speed up of time that seems to come with having a baby, as well as the other changes that are coming up the same month as baby being born (hello Jake's graduation, it's so nice to see you!), I have a nagging feeling that things are never going to be like they are now.

I have been guilty of looking forward to different stages of my life and always looking ahead. While there are perks to this, I have found myself slowing down and enjoying the stage I am in right. now. I am enjoying the fact Jake and I can go on a spontaneous two hour car ride on a Friday night looking at different houses and talking about our dreams. I am enjoying the fact that I can take a nap on a Saturday and take all day to clean my house. I am soaking in the early morning cuddles and uninterrupted weekend mornings. While doing this, it has struck me how blessed I am.

While struggles and trials are not absent from our life, I can't help but feel so much gratitude that I have a beautiful relationship with my husband, an unbelievable ward, family that lives so close, and a job that helps me feel fulfilled and accomplished. I have no idea what to expect come April 6th. I know that the change will be a positive one and the one my life needs to take, but until then, I will spend my time enjoying life as it is now because I know it will never go back to how it is.