All Things End

30 days.

1/3 of a school semester.

It flies by but feels like forever.

And it’s enough time to change how you see so many things.

Our Temple Square picture before Christmas and before the Whole30

Was it worth it? 

Yes.  Even though I complained a lot and it was hard at times, I am so grateful we did it. Our bodies are such an amazing gift from our Heavenly Father and when you treat it as such, it gives you amazing things back. With the craziness of this semester, I’m so grateful for my energy and focus that have both been heightened. Jake and I were sick a lot before, just small things, but haven’t had a sign of any sickness at all since we started.

What is your best piece of advice? 

Stick with it. Make a commitment to yourself. Talk about it. Have a buddy.
I realized that accountability is hard when you are only being accountable to yourself.  Maybe internal accountability is hard for only me, but it is now something I hope to master in the future. But for now, where I’m at, it was critical for me to have talked about it and be accountable to Jake, my blog readers, and every other human I told (which was basically everyone). Having Jake was also a huge blessing. He is so supportive and was my voice of reason when I just wanted a greasy piece of pizza just for the fact it was Friday.

Did you get anything out of it? 

I got more out of it than I expected—and I had done this (sorta) before. My skin has been clearer, my focus and energy are through the roof, no more sugar cravings or afternoon slumps, my monthly cramps were much less noticeable, I now consider myself a great cook, and I lost 14 pounds. So that’s pretty cool. The most important thing I got out of it was not one of the physical benefits, but rather a mental one. I showed myself that I can reach goals I set. This has never happened. It is empowering to know that I’m not immune to the statement, “if you can believe it, you can achieve it”. This new empowerment has been priceless through this semester of school. With something so challenging, it’s nice to know that I can do anything I put my mind to—even getting an A in anatomy.

Was it expensive? 

Yes it was. Our grocery bill went up a lot. On the flip side we didn’t spend anything on eating out, our entertainment budget was hardly used, and with the low gas prices, we had over budgeted for that. With all those considerations, we didn’t go over our outlined budget at all. Sure the categories were off, but the same amount of money was spent. My goal is to learn how to eat healthy while staying frugal. Coupon party anyone?

Did it take a lot of time? 

It felt like all we did was school, work, and something Whole30 related—grocery shopping, cooking, washing the endless piles of dishes, eating, or complaining. So yes, it took a lot of time. But again, we just allocated our time and prioritized. Sure we have piles and piles of laundry, but at least we are eating healthy!

What now? 

Now we reintroduce foods. We won’t be getting a pizza with extra cheese and ice cream on the side. We put in a lot of time and effort into this that we want to do it right. The point of this part it to help us find the foods that bring the inflammation back so we can eliminate them from our diet and move forward. The last 30 days we have been on training wheels and relied on what we were told to eat and what not to eat. This part we become our own experiments. Today, day 31, we reintroduce dairy. So we had cheese in our eggs, will have some cheese with lunch, and a bowl of ice cream after dinner. You are to eat something from that food group with every meal. I didn’t try yogurt or milk because I already know my body isn’t a big fan of dairy. Jake is trying both since he loves milk. Then for the next two days we go back to eating the Whole30 way. This is to allow our body to react to dairy without other factors at play. Based on how we feel we decide what’s worth keeping in our daily diet, what should be an occasional guest, and what will be avoided completely. We do gluten Saturday, legumes Tuesday, and non-gluten grains Friday.

bright and early before work on our day 31! 

Let me know if you guys have any questions or need a support buddy! I’d love to help you or put burning questions to rest. Now that I’ve Whole30-ed you out, I’ll move on to other things in future posts.  

Not Pregnant, just Whole30-ing

GUYS.

I have to apologize. If you have spent any time around me the past 26 days, I’ve talked nonstop about food. So much so I’m concerned people think I’m pregnant. (I’m not) But guess what? That seems to happen when you do something that is hard and you are actually following through with it! Here’s the deal, it’s been hard and I’ve had a lot of complaining moments. But when it comes down to it, I’m so dang proud of myself. In the past I’ve always been able to talk myself into giving up on a goal, whatever that goal was.  This is showing me that I’m strong and capable of following through on commitments to myself. And that I deserve that commitment!

Jake and I have less than a week left on the Whole30 and it’s been quite the experience.  I thought I’d share our top 5 favorite recipes we have found along the way! These recipes were so good that I would have eaten them even if I wasn’t doing the Whole30.  Try them out and let me know what you think!

Thai Curry Chicken -- We both love Thai curry but could live without Indian curry. I was excited when I found this recipe! We took a trip up to Whole Foods in Draper because I had received a gift card for Christmas from my sister-in-law. While we were there we found a green curry paste that didn’t have sugar! We cooked this up last night and it was DELISH. Jake and I decided we’d probably add some more curry paste (we did the full 2 T and could’ve handled more) and more coconut milk to get more sauce out of the recipe. We didn’t include the kabocha squash cause I had no idea what that was and Jake isn’t a big squash fan. We served over cauliflower rice (which was surprisingly good) and it was the perfect, filling meal. Def a repeat. 

 Pizza Spaghetti Pie -- Over the weekend Jake and I took a trip up to Idaho for my cousin’s mission farewell.  We decided to make this as our meal for the whole weekend. After that we are burnt out of the recipe, but up until we ate it 7 times in a row, it was a favorite! The squash tricks your mind into thinking you are eating cheesy lasagna/pizza concontion. It was super tasty. The hardest part of this recipe was finding sugar free pizza sauce and Italian sausage—luckily we found some at Whole Foods during our field trip. You can add anything you like on your pizza, we did olives and green peppers--both were great additions. (PS. Whole Foods is freaking expensive. No wonder they put it up in swanky Draper. ;) ) 

 Buffalo Ranch Stuffed Peppers -- These are fab. I wouldn’t change a thing. I found them the first time I did this and have made them while I wasn't on the Whole30. I’m not crafty so I've never carved out the pumpkin faces, but man. So good. 

 Balsamic Glazed Steak Rolls -- I mentioned in my last post that we have been having people over for Sunday dinners.  We made this recipe for his dad and stepmom. It was so tasty! The steak was a tad bit rare for our taste so we did have to cook it longer. For the glaze, I replaced the brown sugar with unsweetened apple sauce and I had to make our own Worcestershire sauce because they all have sugar. It turned out super yummy, just a lot of work. 

 Paleo Chick-Fil-A Nuggets -- Jake loves Chick-Fil-A nuggets. I know his order and it’s always the nuggets. (remember when he picked that for his last meal?) Well one night we were stressed and bugged with the restrictions so we decided to make this! It was fabulous. We added some cooked potatoes and sugar free ketchup (another Whole Foods find). Heaven. Although the tapioca flour did do a weird thing where it was stringy while cooking and afterward—I don’t know why, but it wasn’t enough to make them gross because it was still crispy. And they tasted pretty dang close to the real thing. Minus the yummy chocolate chip cookies. (you haven’t tried their cookies? Well you should. They are divine.)

Now a non-food related thing--I crossed something off my list last week! On campus we have a new building and it includes a bowling alley. Last Tuesday Jake and I went for a spontaneous game after class. It was so lovely and the perfect break from the stress of the semester. (Yes, I know it's only a month in.) The first game I got 98! 2 away from #11 on my 101 in 1001 list! So we paid another $2 for a second game.  I broke it!  I scored 115. The best I've ever done! It was a blast and I'm so grateful for the hunk who suggested the idea.

 

Whole 30 Update

In the past 12 days I have learned a lot. The main one is that 12 days can feel like 45 days, especially when you are doing the Whole 30 and trying to memorize all the things for Anatomy. 

As mentioned in the below post, Jake and I are doing the Whole 30.  We started on January 4 and it's been a roller coaster.  I read an article today that pretty much summed up our experience.  You see, doing the Whole 30 is like death. Okay, not really, but it sure feels like it. 

(side note. last time I did this I posted a quote from the people who started the whole thing about how it's not hard and they said birthing a baby is hard and I believed them but now I think they are crazy because this is way harder than they make it seem and I've never had a baby, but I'm sure they are comparable. #runonsentencesftw #probablynotcomparable) 

Anyway. That article. It was about the 5 stages of grief.  And I'm pretty sure Jake and I went through every. single. stage. in one day. And then we went through it again the next day.  Since then we've settled comfortably in the acceptance phase. The folks at the Whole 30 provided us with this timeline, which is pretty accurate but they forgot the grief. What are the 5 stages of grief?  Well lucky you I have a psychology class this semester and can tell you all about it! (Half lie. I got this from Wikipedia. Although I am taking that class.) 

1. Denial. "The person is trying to shut out the reality or magnitude of his/her situation, and begins to develop a false, preferable reality." This stage happened the first day but it started prematurely when we were talking ourselves into this crazy thing. Our false, preferable reality was that it'd be easy, especially since we are back in school and that means we have a routine, and that the 30 days would whiz right by and we'd be able to eat our homemade chocolate chip cookies before we knew it. Just read my previous post!! I sounded like a sales person because I was so pumped. 

2. Anger.  "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?" A few days into it, I was pissed.  I was mad that I couldn't eat what I wanted and that some people I didn't even know were telling me what I could and couldn't eat! I was so angry I was brought to tears on the chair. Jake was in the other room and sent articles to my phone about people who had done the program before and their feelings and results. It made me even more upset! Why do we have to do this while everyone else is enjoying their free PB&J from institute?!

3. Bargaining. "The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow undo or avoid a cause of grief".  This happened multiple times over a few days. One time in particular we were sitting outside Costco and we were both irritable and grumpy. Then, slowly, my brain got me thinking. "You can still get benefits from doing this 6 out of the 7 days." "Remember that study that you read that said you have to eat chocolate to help your heart?" "What about that study where eating an unhealthy meal actually helps your body?"  I vocalized some of my bargaining, trying to convince Jake that it was totally fine to get pizza that night since a cheat meal is always a good idea. He said let's at least finish this week up and then we'll decided.  Another night he was behind the bargaining.  "Ike (our econ professor with biceps bigger than my head) eats doughnuts once a week and he's huge!" "I just want to eat ice cream while we watch a movie, it can't be that bad?" "Even cocaine addicts can't come right off, they need a lower dose.  Why can't we do that?" I suggested we used the cantaloupe as our lower dose drug and if we still wanted ice cream, we could go get it.  Well the cantaloupe worked and we didn't get ice cream.  As you can tell, this was the longest and HARDEST to get through. Holy cow. It took so much self control.  

4. Depression. "It is natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation." After showing our great self control, you better believe I fell into the 4 stage of grief.  I knew we were in it for real since none of our bargaining worked, plus we seemed to have our weak moments and different times and we are both stubborn in not letting the other person quit, I knew I was going to do this for the 30 days. I cried over my spaghetti squash and gross chicken breast. Jake had a moment too but he's much less dramatic than I am. 

5. Acceptance. "This typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable mindset." After the night of the ice cream vs. cantaloupe showdown, I woke up without thinking much about those foods I couldn't eat. Jake seemed to be better as well.  It seemed that the crazy had settled down and we definitely more stable.  Since then it has been easier. Not easy, but easier. I haven't had any huge cravings and every time I do I realize it doesn't sound good, it's just what has always been expected.  Hello movie theater popcorn. I sure hope the next 18 days aren't as hard as the first week. Also, Jake did a great job grocery shopping while I was studying! Remember that picture of the Chick-Fil-A? Well here is his latest picture and this is a pretty accurate description of the past 12 days: 

The first week made me realize how much our bodies (and our minds) love and expect certain types of food. It also made me realize that I do have willpower and I can tell my mind to shut up and do what I tell it to.  It's refreshing to realize how powerful your body is and you aren't forced to eat anything. You can tell it no. It's hard. It's not fun. But the outcome always seems to be worth it.  On my day of depressions and bargaining I posted on a Facebook support group about my woes.  Someone posted a quote that made me stop trying to think of excuses to quit. 

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

I hope you are all having a lovely time with your resolutions and may I say that I really believe in that quote. When we step outside our comfort zone, we'll be surprised by what awaits us.

The love story

After writing in my blog earlier this week, I realized that I missed it! It’s so nice to write out thoughts and keep a journal that doesn’t take hours to update and results in a sore hand. (Oh the good days when I could write 10 page notes to friends without breaking a sweat).

I went through my old posts and read through my 101 in 1001 list. I laughed at some (go on a motorcycle ride with a stranger…. Did I want to be kidnapped?!) while others I was happy to be able to cross off!  The best one was “fall in love”. I totes did that and it was totes the best. Let me introduce you to the love of my life:

Jacob Louis Barker is 26 years old and was born on July 22. He has a dimple and smile that makes me swoon and a laugh that can make anyone's day a bit brighter. The majority of his wardrobe is some shade of gray. Ice cream and toast are his favorite treats, especially when served with a side of cold cereal. He just started a new hobby of cycling and is going to school (for what is still a bit up in the air) while working. Jake is the most thoughtful man and he is my best friend. His heart is gold and his work ethic is strong. I am madly in love with him and you'll catch us kissing in the kitchen (and the car, and the hall, and basically anywhere. #sorrynotsorry).

As ya’ll know from the past post, I had moved home once I had my mission call and started going to the singles ward. I had a friend come into town and we decided to go to a single's ward trip down to Manti to attend the temple and the pageant. When we pulled up into the parking lot, there was a cute boy with a beard and a truck. We drove down in the same car and I learned that his name was Jake and he wanted to go to school for the same thing as I did--business management undergraduate degree and then off to law school. (That is no longer what I'm going for--bet you aren't shocked! ;) and as mentioned, his plans are less sure now.) Needless to say I was impressed by his ambition and that we'd be doing the same thing! About half way to Manti, mid conversation, he told me that I had beautiful eyes. I tried so hard not to blush and brushed it off as a nice compliment. To make a potentially long story full of silly details a tad bit shorter, it's safe to say that I basically stocked Jake. From stealing glances in the temple, to complimenting his shirt to show a little interest, to getting snow cones. I knew that I liked this boy. I talked a lot about my mission call just to make sure he knew that I had one and so he wouldn't waste his time if he was looking for something serious. It didn't change a thing.  The trip was a blast. I came home and went straight to Jenny to re-dish everything that happened to see if I was reading too much into things. (For the first time in my life I wasn't and everything meant what I thought it did!!)

Our first picture! Presh. 

The following week Jake invited me to an event every night. I was ecstatic but I couldn't go to a single one. To make up for it, I asked him out for the 4th of July. (Little did I know he almost gave up on me, but was planning on asking me out for the 4^th.)

Our first date was amazing. We went shooting, stopped at a ward BBQ, and then ended the night with fireworks. The date was the best date I had ever had and everything felt so natural. I felt like I was spending time with someone who I had known for years. We were able to tease each other, talk about the gospel, and laugh endlessly. I remember thinking that there was no way this was happening, especially since I had a mission call.  I thought, "no one said you can't have fun before you go on a mission!"

By the end of our second date (star-gazing in the back of his truck) I had a feeling we were getting married and I wasn't going on my mission. I was scared and confused for so many reasons. I had never been in love, I was only 21, and I felt so sure about going on a mission! Through a lot of conversations and prayer, Jake was able to assure me he loved me and that he wasn't going anywhere. He told me he loved me three days after we had our first kiss and I told him I loved him a few days later in the Cafe Rio parking lot. As they say, the rest was history. 

It is so important that as we go through our life and ask for guidance we keep the attitude of "thy will be done". If I had been stubborn on going on a mission (which was a good option), I would've missed out on the perfect man for me. Do not be afraid to change your plans! Stay close to Heavenly Father and He will not let you go astray but will oftentimes send you on a path that was better than you could ever imagine.