Growing up I always assumed athletes were born. It was part of our genetic makeup and my DNA just didn't have it. Sure, I enjoyed exercising and breaking a sweat, but nothing impressive.
This summer I wanted to do more things that made me smile so I started running. Not because running made me smile, or at least I didn't think it could, but because being outside makes me smile. But then I laced up my shoes, woke up before the sun, and started running. In that moment my view on running changed. I loved being able to sing along to my jams or to take in the beauty around me in the silence that only comes with the rising sun. I kept running and running and running until last week I ran a 10K. I'm sure you are sick of my social media being filled with the race and aftermath, but I don't want to talk about my race. I want to talk about the past 5 days.
People have been so supportive and great when they hear or realize my race was on Saturday. Lots of questions how it was and if I'm a "runner" now. For some reason that question, are you now a runner, made me shy away. I responded as if it were a chore, merely another exercise. I hesitated to admit I enjoyed it.
WHY?
That's not true!!
I LOVE running. I LOVE it for so many different reasons. So why in the world would I make it seem like I didn't? I almost felt like I was back in junior high where you had to filter what you thought was cool to make sure you kept your friends. I thought I had gotten over the filtering my likes and hobbies, but clearly that's not true.
Since that conversation and many others, I find myself doubting my love of running which has kept me off the road and kept me from doing what does so many positive things for me. When I run I am less stressed, I don't get tired in the middle of the day, my stomach isn't as sensitive, and I feel like I accomplished something great before most people even get out of bed. I miss that!
The doubts and filtering I was doing wasn't because that person asked me if I was a runner. It was my deep seeded belief that I am not an athlete and could never be one. This is false. We all know that but now I have proved it wrong for myself. Sure I'm not what people think of when they think of a runner, which is probably another source of self doubt, but that doesn't diminish me or what I can do.
I am stronger than I thought. I am an athlete. And I am a runner.
