The love story

After writing in my blog earlier this week, I realized that I missed it! It’s so nice to write out thoughts and keep a journal that doesn’t take hours to update and results in a sore hand. (Oh the good days when I could write 10 page notes to friends without breaking a sweat).

I went through my old posts and read through my 101 in 1001 list. I laughed at some (go on a motorcycle ride with a stranger…. Did I want to be kidnapped?!) while others I was happy to be able to cross off!  The best one was “fall in love”. I totes did that and it was totes the best. Let me introduce you to the love of my life:

Jacob Louis Barker is 26 years old and was born on July 22. He has a dimple and smile that makes me swoon and a laugh that can make anyone's day a bit brighter. The majority of his wardrobe is some shade of gray. Ice cream and toast are his favorite treats, especially when served with a side of cold cereal. He just started a new hobby of cycling and is going to school (for what is still a bit up in the air) while working. Jake is the most thoughtful man and he is my best friend. His heart is gold and his work ethic is strong. I am madly in love with him and you'll catch us kissing in the kitchen (and the car, and the hall, and basically anywhere. #sorrynotsorry).

As ya’ll know from the past post, I had moved home once I had my mission call and started going to the singles ward. I had a friend come into town and we decided to go to a single's ward trip down to Manti to attend the temple and the pageant. When we pulled up into the parking lot, there was a cute boy with a beard and a truck. We drove down in the same car and I learned that his name was Jake and he wanted to go to school for the same thing as I did--business management undergraduate degree and then off to law school. (That is no longer what I'm going for--bet you aren't shocked! ;) and as mentioned, his plans are less sure now.) Needless to say I was impressed by his ambition and that we'd be doing the same thing! About half way to Manti, mid conversation, he told me that I had beautiful eyes. I tried so hard not to blush and brushed it off as a nice compliment. To make a potentially long story full of silly details a tad bit shorter, it's safe to say that I basically stocked Jake. From stealing glances in the temple, to complimenting his shirt to show a little interest, to getting snow cones. I knew that I liked this boy. I talked a lot about my mission call just to make sure he knew that I had one and so he wouldn't waste his time if he was looking for something serious. It didn't change a thing.  The trip was a blast. I came home and went straight to Jenny to re-dish everything that happened to see if I was reading too much into things. (For the first time in my life I wasn't and everything meant what I thought it did!!)

Our first picture! Presh. 

The following week Jake invited me to an event every night. I was ecstatic but I couldn't go to a single one. To make up for it, I asked him out for the 4th of July. (Little did I know he almost gave up on me, but was planning on asking me out for the 4^th.)

Our first date was amazing. We went shooting, stopped at a ward BBQ, and then ended the night with fireworks. The date was the best date I had ever had and everything felt so natural. I felt like I was spending time with someone who I had known for years. We were able to tease each other, talk about the gospel, and laugh endlessly. I remember thinking that there was no way this was happening, especially since I had a mission call.  I thought, "no one said you can't have fun before you go on a mission!"

By the end of our second date (star-gazing in the back of his truck) I had a feeling we were getting married and I wasn't going on my mission. I was scared and confused for so many reasons. I had never been in love, I was only 21, and I felt so sure about going on a mission! Through a lot of conversations and prayer, Jake was able to assure me he loved me and that he wasn't going anywhere. He told me he loved me three days after we had our first kiss and I told him I loved him a few days later in the Cafe Rio parking lot. As they say, the rest was history. 

It is so important that as we go through our life and ask for guidance we keep the attitude of "thy will be done". If I had been stubborn on going on a mission (which was a good option), I would've missed out on the perfect man for me. Do not be afraid to change your plans! Stay close to Heavenly Father and He will not let you go astray but will oftentimes send you on a path that was better than you could ever imagine.

the life lesson i never want to forget

The past two years have taught me a lesson I will, hopefully, never forget—the bad is always followed by the very best. 

2013 was a year that I look back on with a cringe and a smile at the same time. It started off with a diagnosis of Epilepsy, followed by losing my job, and an identity crisis (or ten).  Life continued, as it does, and I found myself with a better job, shuffling through what I was to find who I am, and securing my testimony in the love of Christ more than any other time.  It ended with some more hard times, health problems, and my first finished semester of school in over a year. It was a very lonely year.  My friends were off on missions and I had isolated myself from the rest.  I figured with the internal mess going on, I didn’t have time or energy for others. I was glad to see it go. I knew I had grown, but I was still was unsure as to how much and in what ways.

2014 changed my life in every single way, in every single aspect of my life. I know now that my Heavenly Father was preparing me for great things that I had no idea were coming.   In March I took a trip to San Diego to visit a friend and came home after receiving a prompting I hadn’t expected or was looking for. I was to prepare for a mission once again. While going through this process, I grew spiritually in ways I didn’t know were possible. I became friends with my Heavenly Father and had the companionship of the Holy Ghost every day. I put in my papers and my mission call arrived to my old apartment. I loved that I had so much trust in my Heavenly Father that I didn’t care where I went. I had so much peace and surety in what I was doing—a feeling I don’t think I’ve ever had. I was called to serve in Tallahassee, Florida and given until September 17 to get everything together. I had moved home and had an amazing relationship with everyone in my family. I continued to grow in my testimony and knowledge in the gospel which helped me grow into the person I had the potential to be. On June 20, 2014 I enter the House of God to be endowed. The feeling I had was not unfamiliar or shocking. Rather it was the same feeling of peace and surety I had had since March. On June 21, 2014 I was introduced to the reason Heavenly Father was preparing me for. That reason happened to have the best hair and a way of making me laugh until my side hurt.

When Jake and I met, things were so confusing for me. He was so different and things felt so different with him. But wasn't I supposed to be a missionary!? I spent a day praying nonstop, studying the Book of Mormon harder than I ever had, and searched for my answer. I am so glad that I had spent the last four months building a relationship with my Heavenly Father that I could trust in Him with everything I had.  And that's what I did. I had faith, I told Him that I would go and do whatever He asked. It didn't come suddenly, it came with that peace that had been my companion. It came gently with whispers of, "trust me". 

October 11, 2014 changed everything again. I was sealed to my best friend and love of my life in the Salt Lake Temple. I am so grateful that I lived a life that helped prepare me for that moment. I am so grateful for a man who had that same trust and testimony that I had. 

Alma said it best, “…that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” 

My life has been so blessed by the gospel of Jesus Christ. My heart is full that I was put through the refiner's fire to prepare myself to be a woman worthy enough to marry such a great man in such a great place. I know that nothing is coincidental and that if we live our life saying, "not my will, but thine", things will work out better than we can imagine. 

[Now I'm going to go finish my favorite year with my favorite human]