The last week has probably been one of the longest in my pregnancy. I feel like it just wouldn't quit and now that it is a new week, I am really happy that it is over. We had a bit of a scare on Wednesday morning where I went to the hospital to make sure I wasn't going to have our baby boy almost two months early. Turns out it was a false alarm and everything is still going how it should, yay!
From the time we called our midwife who told us to head over to the point where we were told everything looked great, Jake and I had cold buckets of reality thrown over our heads. We did not feel ready, not even close, to having a baby. Even if he had come, I knew he wouldn't be coming home for awhile since he'd be so early, but I still couldn't shake the fact that as we left the house, it could be the last time without having a small human with us. Since then, I have had a bit of anxiety sheer panic set in.
I haven't read all the books I was supposed to. I don't have 37 meals in my freezer. I don't even have a crib put together! His room is still full of stuff, isn't set up, and sure doesn't look like all the nurseries I see on Facebook and Pinterest. Our laundry wasn't 100% done and put away, our house wasn't spotless, and we haven't baby proofed a single thing.
Since our mini freak out, I have received peace from Heavenly Father letting me know it will be okay. None of that really matter and won't change the amount of love I will have for the little guy whenever he comes (hopefully not for another 6 weeks, okay dude?) or my ability to take care of him. Once that peace came to me, the anxiety has been replaced with excitement.
I am so eager to meet our baby boy and get to know him. I know that when he comes, it will be the right time and I will be as ready as I'll ever be. No one is ever really prepared for a baby anyway, right??
