Yesterday we had an appointment with a perinatologist, which is a fetal specialist, to make sure everything was good with the baby. Because of my epilepsy and the medication I am required to continue to take during the pregnancy, I needed to go see a specialist and will continue to see her until we have the baby.
While it can be hard knowing that I can't just have a simple pregnancy with one doctor's appointment instead of three, I am so grateful that it is something that doesn't prevent me from having a healthy baby and that my seizures have become so manageable. A positive of having this appointment was we were able to have a full anatomy ultrasound, something that is normally done at 20 weeks. That means we found out the gender!
I laid on the examination table and had the heated jelly added to my tummy and right away, we saw the little face of our baby. It is such a special experience to see them change every time you see them. We asked the tech if we could find out the gender, and she said if the baby cooperated. Turns out the baby was just as excited as we were and was in the perfect position to see that it was a boy!
I don't remember if I have written about this earlier, but I have always felt like we are having a baby boy. I don't know why, especially because I was always more scared to have a boy first, but I just had a feeling that it was a boy. When the ultrasound tech confirmed we were having a boy, I was so excited! But not very surprised. :) Jake asked how sure she was, and she was very sure. Even to our untrained eyes it was very clear that we were having a baby boy.
Knowing the gender of the baby has made it much more real to me and I'm sure it has felt more real for Jake as well. This week was rough for me. I had a full anxiety attack followed by a few days of depression that took a lot of energy for me to work through. Having this appointment definitely helped me be able to realize that I can do this and that I am in fact having a baby and it's not just that I had a big lunch.
23.10.16
29.9.16
September 29, 2016 -
I blinked and just like that, I am now 13 weeks along with our little peach. It has gone by so fast and still doesn't feel like a reality. Although, there are definitely times where it feels much more realistic than others. Like when I need food now or I am going to punch everyone around me in the face. Or today, at our doctor's appointment when we saw our little baby bouncing around like it had the hiccups.
Today at the appointment, the midwife was unable to find the heartbeat for a few minutes, which was really hard for me. I have always had a worry, especially the last few weeks, that something is going to happen and I will have a miscarriage. I now wonder if that plays into my lack of desire to tell the world that we are having a baby. Anyway, after two solid minutes of the midwife trying, and failing, to find a heartbeat and of me in tears, she pulled out the portable ultrasound.
The second she turned the screen around, we could see a profile of our baby and the flutter of a healthy heart! Our last appointment we saw an ultrasound, but it was barely a blurry grey dot in a sack, but this time we could see the nose, lips, arms, and it moving! It was such a relief and such a happy moment when we saw that it really was a baby and my hormonal, hunger issues are for a good reason.
Since I last wrote, which feels like forever, I did start to have some cravings! Two things, but they are basically the same thing. The first was cholula, cholula on everything. I couldn't (and still can't) eat breakfast without it! The next were chicken wings. Not just any chicken wings, but I had to make them by broiling the chicken wings until super crispy on both sides, and then mixing it in Frank's Hot Sauce. Guys, I think I'm having a boy because I want all the hot and spicy things!
I legit at chicken wings every night or every other night for two weeks. Then one night, after an hour of searching for chicken wings, we found some at Costco, I cooked them, and could hardly stomach them. They grossed me out! One of the weirdest things for me has been realizing that the things people talk about happening when they are pregnant, are all real!
There was also a period where I couldn't sleep very well. I have always been a really good sleeper. Like, my head hits the pillow and I don't move for 8.5 hours, type of a sleeper. I was waking up multiple times a night and was restless while I was sleeping. It was terrible. I don't wake up quite as much, but I am definitely not where I was before either.
All joking aside, my feelings have set in and I think we are going to have a baby boy. I'm excited to find out, but I just have a gut feeling that it's a boy. We will either find out at my next appointment, which is a fetal specialist that I have to see because of my epilepsy, or right before Thanksgiving! Just in time for the holidays! While we have told our family and some close friends, I don't think we will tell social media until we know the gender. But who knows, I may get a huge urge and tell the world!
I am so happy and honored that I have been trusted to grow and, soon, raise this special little human.
I blinked and just like that, I am now 13 weeks along with our little peach. It has gone by so fast and still doesn't feel like a reality. Although, there are definitely times where it feels much more realistic than others. Like when I need food now or I am going to punch everyone around me in the face. Or today, at our doctor's appointment when we saw our little baby bouncing around like it had the hiccups.
Today at the appointment, the midwife was unable to find the heartbeat for a few minutes, which was really hard for me. I have always had a worry, especially the last few weeks, that something is going to happen and I will have a miscarriage. I now wonder if that plays into my lack of desire to tell the world that we are having a baby. Anyway, after two solid minutes of the midwife trying, and failing, to find a heartbeat and of me in tears, she pulled out the portable ultrasound.
The second she turned the screen around, we could see a profile of our baby and the flutter of a healthy heart! Our last appointment we saw an ultrasound, but it was barely a blurry grey dot in a sack, but this time we could see the nose, lips, arms, and it moving! It was such a relief and such a happy moment when we saw that it really was a baby and my hormonal, hunger issues are for a good reason.
Since I last wrote, which feels like forever, I did start to have some cravings! Two things, but they are basically the same thing. The first was cholula, cholula on everything. I couldn't (and still can't) eat breakfast without it! The next were chicken wings. Not just any chicken wings, but I had to make them by broiling the chicken wings until super crispy on both sides, and then mixing it in Frank's Hot Sauce. Guys, I think I'm having a boy because I want all the hot and spicy things!
I legit at chicken wings every night or every other night for two weeks. Then one night, after an hour of searching for chicken wings, we found some at Costco, I cooked them, and could hardly stomach them. They grossed me out! One of the weirdest things for me has been realizing that the things people talk about happening when they are pregnant, are all real!
There was also a period where I couldn't sleep very well. I have always been a really good sleeper. Like, my head hits the pillow and I don't move for 8.5 hours, type of a sleeper. I was waking up multiple times a night and was restless while I was sleeping. It was terrible. I don't wake up quite as much, but I am definitely not where I was before either.
All joking aside, my feelings have set in and I think we are going to have a baby boy. I'm excited to find out, but I just have a gut feeling that it's a boy. We will either find out at my next appointment, which is a fetal specialist that I have to see because of my epilepsy, or right before Thanksgiving! Just in time for the holidays! While we have told our family and some close friends, I don't think we will tell social media until we know the gender. But who knows, I may get a huge urge and tell the world!
I am so happy and honored that I have been trusted to grow and, soon, raise this special little human.
21.8.16
August 21, 2016 -
I remember when I started this blog many, many years ago it was called "Dear Sophie". It was my junior year of high school and I thought it would be a great idea to start a blog that was directed to my future daughter. That way, she had something to look back on and learn about me.
As the years went on, the blog name changed multiple times as well as why I had the blog. I was an angsty teenager, a confused high school graduate, and then a love struck newly wed. I have hidden all of my posts up until the love struck newly wed, mostly because the posts were full of secret messages to readers I thought I had who I thought secretly loved me. *insert eye roll here*
My first post was May 2010 and now, six years and a few months later, I sit here with a blueberry in my tummy that will grow into my first baby. It is so crazy to write it down. This is the first time, since finding out a month ago, that I have put it into words. I have told my family and Jake's family, but it still doesn't feel quite real. I haven't been too sick, although I do feel more like an old lady than ever because a 7:00 PM bedtime sounds wonderful and everything makes me cry. But let's be honest, I am always a few steps from tears and I've always gone to bed early so not much has changed.
We are in Idaho for my cousin Mary's wedding and the word was spread throughout my extended family as well. It is fun to see everyone's reactions and excitement and it definitely makes it feel more real. My uncle asked me and Jake if we had a secret preference. I told him that I am less scared to have a girl and I've always thought my first would be a girl (hence the blog at 17). Jake said he didn't have a preference, but later told me he thinks he would like a girl. Either way, I know that we are both eager for a healthy little human that is our own.
I remember when I started this blog many, many years ago it was called "Dear Sophie". It was my junior year of high school and I thought it would be a great idea to start a blog that was directed to my future daughter. That way, she had something to look back on and learn about me.
As the years went on, the blog name changed multiple times as well as why I had the blog. I was an angsty teenager, a confused high school graduate, and then a love struck newly wed. I have hidden all of my posts up until the love struck newly wed, mostly because the posts were full of secret messages to readers I thought I had who I thought secretly loved me. *insert eye roll here*
My first post was May 2010 and now, six years and a few months later, I sit here with a blueberry in my tummy that will grow into my first baby. It is so crazy to write it down. This is the first time, since finding out a month ago, that I have put it into words. I have told my family and Jake's family, but it still doesn't feel quite real. I haven't been too sick, although I do feel more like an old lady than ever because a 7:00 PM bedtime sounds wonderful and everything makes me cry. But let's be honest, I am always a few steps from tears and I've always gone to bed early so not much has changed.
We are in Idaho for my cousin Mary's wedding and the word was spread throughout my extended family as well. It is fun to see everyone's reactions and excitement and it definitely makes it feel more real. My uncle asked me and Jake if we had a secret preference. I told him that I am less scared to have a girl and I've always thought my first would be a girl (hence the blog at 17). Jake said he didn't have a preference, but later told me he thinks he would like a girl. Either way, I know that we are both eager for a healthy little human that is our own.
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